New Year’s Resolutions 2016

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I have been waiting for about a month to talk about my New Year’s resolutions. I started carrying through some things I wanted to work on around Thanksgiving and so I am so excited to share the things I’m working on with you.

  1. No shopping until June. My husband and I have been doing a ton of shopping in the last six months or so and are desperately approaching a much-needed hiatus. We have taken a shopping fast before as a build up to our wedding. The only things we exclude from it are necessities which includes food, shelter, and things we must buy like bridesmaids/groomsmen clothing for important weddings in our lives.
  2. Which leads me smoothly into my second point. Use this space as more of a style guide and less of a vehicle for consumerism. Less “buy this, buy that” and more “this is what I look like, this is what I dress like, this is what I paired this with” instead of “this is 40% off.” I will still tag where I purchased things but with more item tags that say similar instead of exactly where I purchased the original item since I plan to shop less.
  3. Closet and house purge of unnecessary things. We have just accumulated too much stuff. So the rule is anything that hasn’t been used in two years or anything that won’t be used within a year, will go.
  4. Incorporate fitness daily. I have to get back to a space where my life isn’t so sedentary. I have used my job as an excuse but a year in and it is no longer new to me. Even if it’s just a 15 minute walk with the dogs in the evening, I have to do more to be active. I am going to start by participating in activities that I enjoy. Restarting a yoga practice, continuing water aerobics and running more are on the list. participate in activities I enjoy.
  5. Follow the impulse. The other day I decided to go to the beach and so we went. If I have an idea that deviates from my normal pattern of behavior, I usually shy away from it. This year, I am going to start living my life as though I’ve imbibed a daily bottle of felix felicis and I am going to follow the impulse.  Rare is the occasion where my gut reaction steers me wrong and I am going to just roll with it.
  6. Post regularly. I am not a blogger but I do get a sense of satisfaction from blogging. I have had this space for years and have never had the consistency to post on a regular basis. I am going to give it a shot if only because I love the idea of chronicling the entire year in post and thoughts. So even if it’s just minutia, I will try to update here at least three times a week. I will also make an effort to spruce up the appearance around here as well as categorizing everything so it’s easier to look back.

So let’s hear it, what are you working on this year or are you a conscientious objector?

XOXO Prepford Wife

A Year In Review: 2016

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I’ve had a wonderful year. There’s that quote from One Tree Hill where Nathan says “One day you’re seventeen and planning for someday. And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today”. I feel that way about this year. One day I was planning for it to start and just a day later, I’m chit chatting about it ending. In between there, I managed to accomplish a few things that I feel good about.

No. This is the year that I finally learned to say no. If I didn’t want to do it, I passed. If the dress didn’t fit properly, I took it back to the store. If my feelings were hurt, I confronted them. This was just a year of saying no to displeasure and I feel better for it.

Stretch. In addition to saying no, I have really been making an effort to stretch myself. Last December, I started a new career path which has challenged this self proclaimed introvert. Each day I’ve stretched to perform a little better, do a little more, all while making sure that I stay true to who I really am. This is a concept I have been applying not just at work but also in my day to day life. If I can be a little kinder, I am. If there is a show that isn’t necessarily the genre I would usually enjoy, I at least try to give it a chance. If I can go to the gym, if only for twenty minutes, I do.

Or. It’s also been the year of the ultimatum for me. According to every skill finder test ever, I am harmonious. I try to create harmony and peace where ever I am. This often means that I people please and in pleasing others, I rarely please myself. This year I have been doling out a lot of the word “or”. I would like to be treated this way or we can not continue this relationship… You need to pull your weight by this date or I can no longer help you… I demand this kind of love as demonstrated by… or I can no longer engage. You would be surprised at how easy it is to be met half way when you make your intentions both known and quantifiable.

Fear I feel like I’m playing double dutch in life, standing on the sideline, constantly trying to figure out when the best moment is to get in. And fear gives me such a hard time getting in. This year, I have really thrown fear out the window. If there is something I had a tingle of wanting to do, I did it and those are some of the moments I remember best.

Love. It seems all of our closest friends got engaged this year and it’s really got me thinking about how I love and how I like to be loved. This year, I have loved better than ever before especially in my own home within my own marriage. It seems my husband and I have hit our stride. Our relationship has hit this gentle streak where we are able to just coast and its wonderful.

There are tangibles a plenty from this year but like every other year, what I am really working on are the intangibles. What did you work on this year, even if you didn’t realize you were working on it at the time?

XOXO Prepfordwife

 

 

 

Birthday Resolutions!

Today’s my birthday (at least it is if I’ve posted on time). Each year for my birthday, I reflect on the year before and set some resolutions for myself. This year, all of my goals revolve around who I want to be instead of where I want to be. In the past, I’ve focused on the careers I want, the things I want to obtain, but the year, I want to focus on the type of person I want to be. This year, I’m resolving to be:

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  1. First and foremost, kind to myself. I have been messing up lately both small and large. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to do anything (read: everything) right. If this were anyone else, I would sooth their fears, tell them it’s okay and that people make mistakes, and then figure out how to work towards fixing those mistakes. But when it’s me, I don’t allow myself that same sense of grace. I am hurtful and unkind to myself in a way that I would never ever be to someone else. This year, I am allowing myself the space to be kind to me.
  2. Fit. I recently started a job where I lead a sedative lifestyle. I am so accustomed to being up and engaged and on my feet and this new job is really taking a toll on my personal fitness. This year, I’d like to commit myself to at least three hours of physical activity each week. Whether I continue to practice hot yoga or run, I need to get up and move more.
  3. Well. I am 26 which puts me over the hill of youth in my mind. This year, I want to be better about minding my wellness. From eating the “correct” number of vegetables servings to actually booking that doctor’s appointment that I’ve put off, I am vowing to take better care of myself.
  4. Bold. I have a hard time speaking up for myself and in my job and almost all of my closest relationships, I am an introvert floundering in an extrovert’s world. This year, I want to do a better job of showing up for myself and bringing who I am internally forward so that other people can see her. Will I be exhausted? Sure. But it’s worth the risk.
  5. Consistent. I have really high highs and really low lows. What that means is that a large portion of time, I find myself waffling somewhere on the line of mediocre just because I can’t seem to channel the energy to make myself great. This year, I am challenging myself to bring greatness when I’m having high days. When I feel moved to blog, I will actually create the content. When I feel inspired to work, I will do the work. That way, when it is actually time to show up, I will have a completed product. So expect to see more regular posts here.

What are you working on in your life that demands your attention? What are you resolving to do?

New Year, Old Me

Unlike the rest of the world, for me the New Year is never an opportunity for renewal. I always use my birthday as the point in time where I make resolutions and plans for who I want to be in the New Year for a myriad of reasons.

For one it keeps it personal and I don’t have to compete against everyone else’s resolutions. I’m essentially wearing blinders and just running my own race. This year, my resolutions really focused on honing in on who I am. I want to be the best version of myself from August 2013 to August 2014. I want to look up and be like “The Victoria from October 2013? She was on point.” In an effort to do that, all of my resolutions this year were intangibles. Nothing that I could go out and do and hit a mile stone for, just general growth.

1. Don’t allow myself to regret not going to medical school. I made the outright conscious decision that I can not be a doctor. I don’t have a heart for it. I think God’s calling for my life is to effect the most people best way that I know how and I don’t think one on one clinicals is that. So I decided for myself not to go to medical school. Every now and again, my ego starts to regret it and I have to remind myself of my purpose and my life mission statement.

2. Have a profound musical experience. This year is the year of music for me. And while I too was riveted by Beyonce’s 12:01am release of Beyonce, that is definitely not what I am going for. You know that moment where you have heard a song fifteen times and you hear it in the car one day and there is a lyric that you have never heard before? You hear that verse and its so freaking real to where your life is or has been that you almost have to pull over (see Frank Ocean’s Bad Religion). That’s what I’m talking about. Those are the kind of profound musical experiences I’m after.

3. Find God where I am. I outright refuse to go to anymore church. Maybe that will change in the future but there was one summer where Marcus and I literally went to a different church Every. Single. Sunday. I think I was just searching and looking and pursuing and chasing after God. I felt like I just could not find him any where I looked. And you know where I found him? In the privacy of my own home; In the intimate moments that I have shared with my siblings; In the look of comprehension I find in my students’ eyes; In the hug that a woman gave me after I held her hand through her HIV test.  So this year, I am choosing to pursue God where I am through my actions, words and love for his people.

4. Be Kind. I am nice. Especially surface level but you know what? That is not enough. From anyone, really. I want to be better at being kind. I want to be more understanding of people and their life circumstances on a deeper level. And most importantly I want to be kind to myself. I am so critical of my every thought, action and move that some days I actually have to calm myself. Recently though, I have been able to look in the mirror and I look exactly the way I want to look and feel exactly the way I want to feel and that’s awesome.

5. Feel healthier. This is the only one that works toward an actual goal. And you know what that goal turned out to be? Hedonism. I was so rigid and uptight a lot all the time. I tried to be perfect in all aspects of my life so that no one would ever have a reason to yell at me. All of this tension was rapidly leading to an ulcer. So this year, I decided to loosen up a little. I eat what I want even if it has a whopping amount of calories. I say what I want, within reason. I go where I want and I sleep when I want. This year, I had a final in a class and I went to sleep the night before. No studying, just went to sleep. Woke up at 7am and studied. And you know what? Still passed with flying colors. The world did not slow to a stop because I chose not to study. Sure, I’ll have leafy greens, run and be accountable to my boss, but no longer will it be at the expense of my health. I needed to sleep, so I went to sleep.

How me and this guy spent New Year’s Eve

A New Year’s Resolution

It may not be a new year but it is a new year to me. Today is my birthday and whether people know it or not each year or my birthday is when I actually do my new years resolutions and then I just renew them when the rest of the world band wagons in January. There are some things that I would like to accomplish that are both tangible and intangible and I hope to accomplish them by August 8, 2013

1. Get a big kid’s job with a 401k.
2. Buy a Chevy Cobalt (Hopefully this is a one month thing).
3. See Lake Victoria from Kenya since I have had a chance to see it from Tanzania
4. Visit Victoria Falls
5a. Apply and get into medical school
5b.Dye hair purple if I get in.
6. Lose 20 lbs. I just want to be more toned really.
7. Change my residence to North Carolina.
8. Do not procrastinate on my school assignments.
9. Stand up for myself.
10. Have a soul moving, earth shaking, life changing experience.