What’s in a name, Prepford?

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I finally caved and bought the rights to Prepfordwife.com (it’s how you got here today unless you followed the link in the bio). My social media presence has been Prepford Wife every since my husband thought up the puny little name six years ago for my tumblr account. We were engaged at the time and eventually would marry and so why not incorporate that name into my account early.

With a simple click and a complicated password and, eventually the purchased of my domain name (two days ago! Woohoo!), I was easily Prepford Wife. In my real life? Not so simple. I have been married over three years as of last fall and still wrestle with the concept of changing my last name.

I love my husband and I love his name but I just can’t seem to shake the feeling that it’s a problem to change it. While I am of the “feminist, hear me roar persuasions” it has less to do with the idea of ownership, since my current last name belongs to my father and my new last would belong to my husband (honestly down with the patriarchy. I belong to no one). But also to do with emotional labor as it pertains to women, why should I have to do all the work on the name front? Why are women responsible for sitting in the social security office and changing their names.  I didn’t marry myself, I feel like my husband should have to do some of the work as well.

But it also has to do with the importance of names and naming in my life. I am someone who remembers everyone’s name, first and last, if you tell it to me. I remember instagram handles and their spelling.  I will remember your name if we have only met once ten years ago. I have names picked out for children I may never have based on meanings because I think what you name someone is important and determines a lot of their path in this world. My name is Victoria and my husband’s name is Marcus and together our names mean “Victorious” “Warrior”. Yikes. That’s a recipe for intense arguments if I’ve ever seen one.

But I digress, when you first meet someone, even if they are insignificant in your life and you may only see them once, all you have of them is their name. We place a lot of emphasis on them from how people of color with unique names are judged in interviews to how trendy moms keep  changing the spelling of “Aiden”, all you know about this person is their name. It’s their entire being. That’s a concept that’s so important to me and I carry it with me. And I feel the same about myself.

All I am is this person that I was for the first twenty four years of my life and because I married a man who is apart of my life, but not a part of me, I should change this very defining characteristic about me. I just have a very hard time wrapping my mind around the concept. And I love him and I want us to share a name and be a family. One unit. But he is not the one who will have to change his very being to make it happen. He is not the one who has considered changing his very being to make it happen (because tradition? idk). Are we not partners in this thing called life?

I am not sure that I ever reached a conclusion about what to do but for now, the PrepFord Wife is still just the PrepMaiden Wife. In real life I’ll continue to use my maiden name and on the internets and in monograms, Happy Wife Life. Until checks start rolling in with Ford then I might consider. LOL.

Tell me, what did you do? What do you plan to do? Do you even take stock in names meaning things?

XOXO PrepFord Wife Sorta

Gift Guides for Kids (That aren’t mine)

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I don’t usually subscribe to gendered gift lists but this seemed to be the easiest way to categorize. However, feel free to dabble from either list for whatever gender your little one may be, as well as the neutral gender list I put together. I give off over indulgent auntie vibes so some of these are a little expensive, especially for a child that isn’t yours and/or if you’re buying for multiples but I couldn’t resist adding a few. Perhaps just take the spirit of the gift into play.

The gift that I can’t seem to recommend enough, this year and every year, is always a book. Yes, I’m that aunt. My husband has been in love with me since the very first time we met (true story, not just hubris) so by our first Christmas together, a mere two months after we started dating, freshman year of college, we knew it was forever. I say that to explain the next very wild statement.

Since our first Christmas together at 18 years old, we having been buying children’s books for our non-existent future children. A little young and fresh in the relationship to be thinking about reproducing. But after a decade of Christmases and other gifting holidays, we’ve amassed quite the little collection. After all this time the break down seems to be that Marcus buys rationale classic stories (Corduroy, Frog and Toad, The Very Hungry Caterpillar) and I air on the side of Femininist, African and Indie books (Mufaro’s Beautiful Daughter/ Jumbo Means Hello/ Bad Girls Throughout History). Our children will absolutely have a well rounded reading collection.

Coming in this year for my gift book is “Little Leaders” by Vashti Harrison falling into the “girl’s” guide. Beautifully illustrated and very informative, it’s a great gift regardless of your child’s gender or race and I can not recommend it enough. My copy came in yesterday and I pretty much just cried flipping through it from the beauty of it all. Aside from that being my number one, everything else has my childless stamp of approval.

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Little Leaders // Maeva Doll (Doesn’t her outfit scream me?) // Hooded Personalized Minion Towel // Princess Duvet Cover // Taco Purse // Party Razor Scooter // Cat Emoji Earrings

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Drone // Personalized hooded minion towels  // Harry Potter Lego // Storm Trooper Vtech Watch// Astronaut Duvet Cover // Razor Scooter //Paw Patrol Robo Dog and Vehicle

I just recently got as prissy as I am and in my younger years would have honestly preferred the astronaut themed duvet. (Gifting Key to success: know your audience) With that in mind, my favorite list to put together without fail was the gender neutral list. I’m on a kick about gender roles and emotional work and equitable distribution of labor in households lately and I seem to have taken it out on this list. That kick includes teaching our non-existent sons from a very young age how to manage a household and be gentle and vulnerable in safe spaces (i.e. at home) and it starts from a young age with just learning to play pretend in a way that is safe like encouraging them to take part in house. But also teaching our daughters to canoe and kick predators in the face and build houses because they’re all skills a modern girly should have. So there’s that about that and I present to you my favorite list.

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Farmer Says Classic// Cash Register // Knex Thrill Ride // Frankie Beats Bat Boogie Has the best reviews I’ve ever seen for a talking toy// Day Trip Plush Canoe (Please buy this for my future child) // Melissa and Doug Fridge Play Food // Hearth and Hand with Magnolia work bench // Jetaire Camper Playhouse

And the item that isn’t included on this list but I encourage you to buy for my future child and save in your garage in any extra space you have, is this little number. My children don’t even exists yet and already they deserve it.

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Street Vendor Cart

I demand to know the last time you’ve seen a more perfect toy. Don’t worry, I’ll wait… It’s never happened! This would be so cute as a mobile library (there I go again with the books) or a snack cart or even just for your little ones to play store with stuff around the house. I love it so much I wanna buy it for my dogs. Okay, now I’ve gone too far.

Is there anything that I missed from this list that is a glaring hole like a seasons best seller or something that someone has bought for your little ones in the past that I need to get for the kiddos in my life? Let me know.

Xo Prepford Wife

A Prepford Husband: Gift Guide for Him 2017

Somehow, I’m a better men’s shopper than women’s. Probably because my primary gift giving is for my husband who is very sure of what he likes in this world. So consider this gift guide a gift from my husband to you. Every single thing is owned and approved by him. Half of the items on this list like before, are small business items including the hat, watch band, sweater, cologne and pin.

The item I can not recommend enough and I feel like needs an actual shout out is the cologne. My husband pleaded for it a few Christmas’ ago from online. He’d never smelled it before but knew from the descriptor that he wanted it so we got it. It is the BEST. SMELLING, COLOGNE, EVER. It’s strong and works well with his unique chemistry and super long lasting. I would get into my car for a week after he drove one day and my cloth seatbelt would still smell like it. Aside from that, we love everything on this list and couldn’t recommend them enough. 2017giftguideforhim

Harding Lane Hat // Yeti Bag Cooler //Bexar (Pronounced Bear) Goods Watch Band //Arnold Steiner Sweater // Flannel Lined LLBean Boots // J. Crew Travel Pillow // Rayban Clubmasters // VT Oswald Pin // DS & Durga Cologne // LLBean Windbreaker

Holiday Gift Guide for Her 2017

Today begins a series of Holiday gift guides, the first and the easiest being for her. This is a very specific “Her” List in that its the list that I would want if I didn’t already own most (i.e. some form of all) of these things. This things are all tried and true by me except for the Away bag which I love love love because of the beautiful Gray Malin print. My favorite thing about this list is that half of the items are from small business including the oxford, the hat, the tassels and to some extent the duffel. I think we tend to think of small businesses only in terms of arts and artisan goods but they definitely extend to wearable goods as well.

2017giftguideKate Spade Umbrella // J.Crew Factory Fleece vest //Aviate Hat // Bow Hair Tie // Tiny Tassel Earrings //Tuckernuck duffel // Katie Kime Oxford // Away with Gray Malin Print

 

 

Black, Cream and Bows for the Holidays

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Friend’s Christmas Party

Dress// DIY Shoes (Similar) // Earrings // Coat

If you are keeping track here, then you know my husband wouldn’t let me put up the Christmas decorations early. (And by “let me” I do mean he won’t go get them out of the shed and get on a six foot ladder and hang them up for me while I’m at work). And since I can’t decorate  my house, I have no choice but to decorate myself in anticipation of Christmas and to stick it to the man (i.e. my hubby).

I know that Christmas calls for red and green, I get it. But for me, creams, blushes, and black steal the show. Add a bow? And be still my rapidly beating heart.  I have loved a bow since the dawn of time and I am so happy to see them making an appearance all over the place this holiday. And I always go with cream because it’s one of my skins favorite colors. So I’m giving you guys some of my favorite simple holiday party outfits that incorporate those colors plus a bow. From dressy holiday parties to casual evenings with family, you can always throw a bow on it and ignore the traditional Christmas colors.

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Office Christmas Party

Dress (old / similar similar/ similar) // Bow //Shoes (oldsimilar/ similar/ similar) // Purse (Similar/ similar)

 

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Christmas Day

Jacket (Wearing the mens) womens // Sweater // Skirt (old Vera Wang/ Similar/ Deal $14.99) // Socks // DIY Shoes/ Clutch (Old/ Similar)

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Turtleneck // Puffer vest (similar) // Wide leg pants (old/similar/comes in green too) // Bow

So what about you? Are you forgoing traditional Christmas for something just as festive? Do you even dress up on Christmas? (We don’t. Morning of= pajamas which I will blog about eventually)

XO Prepford Wife

Black Friday 2017 Deals

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Tassel earring // Coat // Skirt (not on the site yet but will show up here)// Tissue turtleneck // tights // Boots (old poshmark find)

I am one of those obnoxious people who shop months in advance. That thing where people say you marry your parents and become your parents is totally true. Both my mother and mother in law are usually done shopping by September and they just Dec 24th shop for traditional’s sake. (Mother in law is a New Yorker so 34th st Macy’s at midnight is an easy way to get “cheap” thrills)

Just because we over here have prepped for the Christmas-pocalyse doesn’t mean I can’t help you with Black Friday Deals. Every single thing that I’m wearing (except for this pair of tassel earrings) is 50% off right now as a part of J. Crew Factory’s Black Friday deals. And even the earrings are a fantastic deal at only $12. What a steal for a hand made (I have seen it happen for my very eyes) small shop goody. They are from The Tiny Tassel in South Carolina and would make a fabulous Christmas gift!

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My favorite things about this outfit is that it’s dressy if your family does that but also casual enough that you could toss on a cute sneaker or a riding boot and make it more relaxed if that’s what you guys do.

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Aside from the Tiny Tassel and J. Crew, here’s a list of my favs from the places I usually shop. These are mostly the biggies and I will update this in the coming days with a gift guide that includes some of my favorite small shops so you can shop small and local for #shopsmall Saturday, one of my FAVORITE shopping holidays of the year.

94AD89EC-48A6-4592-9A37-9125A9BABC88Boden: 30% off plus free shipping and returns over $49

Gap: early access 50% off entire purchase with code BLKFRIDAY

J. Crew: 40% off everything and free shipping with code THANKU

J. Crew Factory: 50% off everything starting right now with code

Kate Spade: Surprise sale 75% off and free ground shipping when you spend $100 and 30% off regular site with code GIVEJOY

Katie Kime: Site wide sale 30% off

L.L. Bean: 20% off with THANKS20 and free $10 gift card

Modcloth Website down on Black Friday

Nordstrom: Up to 40% off designer clearance

Polo Ralph Lauren Factory Store: Entire Store 50% Off

Pottery Barn: Black Friday deals up to 50% off and free shipping with code FREESHIP

REI: Closed on Black Friday for #optoutside

Society Social: $300 off select items with code THANKS300, $100 off select items with code THANKS100 and $75 off with THANKS75

Toryburch 30% off $250 or more with code THANKS

Vera Bradley: 50% off select patterns and styles

wallsneedlove: 40% off with code EARLYBIRD40

West Elm: Buy More save more 15% off $100 or more, 20% off $500 or more, 25% off $100 or more and 30%off $3000 or more with code SAVEMORE

 

Weekend Getaway to Corolla, NC

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It’s like, in order to avoid letting me get a horse, my husband is being extraspecially gracious with activities that allow me to interact with horses but make it illegal to bring them home. This weekend he surprised me with a little getaway to Corolla, NC where they have wild horse. *Insert imaginary gif of me fangirling over them*

For someone who was surprised though, I sure used those hours in the car to neurotically plan our every waking moment. If you ever have the opportunity to head that way, especially if its in the winter, my brief but intense research will serve you well. If you are headed there in the summer best of luck because the tourist are ever.y.where. We tend to beach in the off season. It’s cool enough to wear the clothes that we actually like and we aren’t “sit on the beach” people. Plus, we getting the added bonus to having the town to ourselves.

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My husband chose to stay at the Sanderling resort which was a fantastic homebase for the weekend. I love a place that is thoughtful and from the smores kit included in our room to the mending kit, that I always seem to need and not have, every detail was accounted for. When we arrived they’d upgraded our room to a waterfront view which was stunning and we lucked into seeing a really gorgeous wedding ceremony play out on Saturday.

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We ended up at the Lifesaving Station, their onsite restaurant twice if we are being honest; our first night and breakfast the next morning. But you should definitely branch out and try neighboring restaurant Kimball’s which is a few short steps away.

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Both dinner and breakfast were amazing. If you are coming from a non-Southern state definitely have the chicken and waffles. Let them show you how they do it and for breakfast have anything. It all looked amazing.

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Another post to follow with out second and third day. I promise the horses deserve their own post.

XO Prepford Wife

Iconic Trench

It is finally, finally trench coat season in my neck of the woods. I pulled out my favorite J. Crew trench in it’s honor. My favorite trench is one of three J. Crew trenches in my closet and I stand behind them 3500%.

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This specific trench is no longer available but there are some other goodies available around the internet for half the price.

 

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1// J. Crewlondonfog2// LondonFog

 


anneklein3// Anne Klein

ralph lauren4//Ralph Lauren Plus Size

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5// Ralph Lauren Contrast Trim

 

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6// Old Navy Deal Alert: $54.50 plus 40%

Ted Baker Wedding Guest Dress

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One of my favorite family members got married yesterday and the invitation called for formal wear. I’m hesitant when an invitation says formal only because I’m not sure if everyone will interpret it the same way. To be on the safe side, I default to shorter dresses with more formal structured fabric.

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Ted Baker always hits the nail on the head and this little number is no exception. Ted Baker dresses are appropriate for every season since many of them include floral on darker backgrounds. Universally flattering with a strong fabric which allowed me to wear regular undies, instead of some kind of spanx.

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Did I mention, she also has pockets and a killer back view?! I know once upon a time pockets were arare feature but I’ve reached the point in my life where I’m not buying an A-Line dress if she doesn’t have pockets.

 

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I paired it with a simple confetti gold clutch that I’ve had for years from J. Crew which is just big enough to hold credit cards, a travel size lotion, chapstick and an iPhone of normal size (judging you iPhone 7 Plus and larger). I also paired it with these Sophia Webster x J. Crew shoes that have yet to leave my closet. This felt like the perfect chance. This exact dress is from last year and I snagged it on poshmark brand new for the low low price of $25. Go ahead take the second to gasp and revel in my good fortune. Now go find one for yourself. Here are some beautiful dresses from this season that will give you the same effect as we go into the rest of fall and winter wedding season.

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So now, you tell me. What’s been your go to for easy wedding guest looks?

XO Prepford Wife

J. Crew Factory Newish Arrivals

The first holiday roll out and J. Crew and J. Crew Factory is always my favorite. This post was not going to be a thing until I saw the  pièce de résistance; the bow coat. With at least 40% off, I know that the coat and the cream bow sweater is what is guaranteed to come home with me. Do you know how good that’s going to look up against my skin? Ugh I’m so stoked. Here are my favorite items that are currently living in my cart waiting for me to waste too many monies.

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Sweater Blazer | Merino wool turtleneck | Bow sweater (Cream/Gray) | Ruffle Front Plaid Shirt | Wool Top Coat | Bow front coat|Slim cropped printed pantWool Mini Harvest Plaid Skirt | Pleated Mini Skirt

Honorable Mentions: Plaid blanket scarf | Cape Scarf

Which pieces are your favorite piece? Anything on your mind in particular?

XO Prepfordwife

PS I may have already purchased and received that cream bow sweater.