Naturally, I am anxious. There are some days where I actually dream anxious. I wake from tight chest and knotted stomach. On the average day I can induce a panic attack in just 30 seconds. Keep in mind, this is my feeling of equilibrium; my everyday before there is actually anything wrong. I recognize anxiety is a sin. It’s a failure to trust that God will provide for tomorrow.
I rarely -i.e. never- tell people because its no one’s business but mine. But I think failing to mention it, I have been taking away from what God does for me and in turn, failed to give him full glory. One day, I may see someone about my anxiety but until this point, I have a reoccuring prayer. I do this prayer EVERYWHERE. I have done it behind the wheel of my car, in the research lab and in a bakery all without having to kneel or face Mecca or sit in a confessional booth. (I am not knocking other religions, I am just thankful that the God I serve is a God of convenience. He always meets me where I need him)
“Hey God. It’s me. You are God. You are in control of my life and You alone hold my future. I trust You and I praise You in advance because I know that You will care for me. I trust that You will bless me and I know that you will not forsake me. Even if I can’t see it right now, I know that you have a plan. If anything that I am doing right now does not align with your plan, take it away and give me all of You in return. Thank you for your grace. Thank you in advance for your blessings. Amen.”
I know this is a lot to pray but I pray it ALOT. I try to pray real. But for days where my prayers are just not enough, I have to pull out the verses.
–Matthew 6:27 Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
–Psalms 4:8 I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety
–Psalms 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
–Psalms 139:18 How precious are your thoughts to me O God, How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they should be more in number than the sands and when I awake, I am still with you.
–Psalms 3:5 I lie down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me